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♥ Monday, December 31, 2007♥

1 1/2 hrs to go...then its a brand new year, lets welcome to the year 2008!!! Yay......

Goodbye 2007, hope that my year 2008 will be great for me and everyone.

January 2007- Admitted to hospital, hospitalized for two nights from food poisoning.

February 2007- Not having what I expected during chinese new year: didn't get to see my best friends (campmates) Mei Ching, Rahidah, Siti Zurina, Norazah, Ah Seng, Adeng, Sikin, Nurlizawati.

Mid May 2007- Able to interact with children

Aug-Sept 2007- Went to Kuching with cousin Nancy for one week holiday. Not having fun bcoz my cousins Nancy, Choo Choo and my aunt (youngest one) keep on nagging, blaming, critisizing and accusing me. I suffered from Mid-stage of depression during this period of time.

Oct 2007- Start Diploma in children services course. I start to socialize with my classmates, I had known them for almost a year. I can talk, and have fun with my classmates as well. Probably it is part of growing up?! hehe...I was 18 yrs 11 mths old at this time.

I started my practicum at the end of this Oct. Not a very happy day on the first day of my practicum. Cried for 3 days and quit bible study with my ex-classmate of mine right after I went home from my first day of practicum due to some reasons...its a long story...

I suffered from early stages of depression, I took medication for stress for a week, then I don't take anymore bcoz I get headaches...so all I do is keep it easy, then my depression and worries go away in a few days time

Nov 2007- I turned 19 on 23rd Nov 2007, not a very happy one either bcoz of the practicum, but I am very happy that me and my family went to BBQ Grill and eat, one of my favourite restaurants haha!

Dec 2007- Long boring holidays=school holidays=didn't get money from parents bcoz I am lazy to get it because when I go to school, I need money for the bus fare and drinks from canteen. Didn't get money=can't go out with friends=stay at home the whole day, day and night=so boring! But I did went out with shew min this mth once...and took pics at NBT on Christmas day and today too!

For Year 2008, I need it to be perfect...

  • During Chinese New Year, I really wanna meet or contact with my campmates, those that whom I am close with- Rahidah, Ah Seng, Mei Ching, Chai Yun, Siti Zurina, Adeng, Sikin, Norazah, Entas, Romina and Maryline. Those that were my good friends, but not really close, are Siew Fong and Jawai, can meet them as well. If I can meet my other campmates that I didn't mention here, it would be great to reunite again...
  • During Chinese New Year, if my auntie and cousins Nancy n Choo Choo keeps on nagging, accusing, blaming and critisize me, this time, I'll juz ignore and don't ans back. Ok, I can control myself now...must control myself. Bcoz they r the ones who will be crazy haha!
  • Don't get sick too much
  • Socialize more with my collegues, and friends
  • Share stories in class, if I have any
  • If I am in groupwork in class, I hope I can give out ideas too...bcoz my classmates won't bite me
  • Control my anger when I am with people around me
  • Talk more with penpals and friends which I lose in touch with/reunite together again
  • Go out more
  • Have fun more...taking easy...don't think too much...be happy!
  • I have to do well in my practicum and assignments
  • Talk more with the staff whom I work with...
  • I wanna learn piano, improve english and my singing skills
  • Improve my self esteem, confidence, and having fun without shyness when around children and staff. Juz enjoy with the children and staff...don't care about anything bcoz children likes to have fun...oh yeah, got to improve my talking skills and managing children behaviour when I am doing my practicum too
  • I wanna apply for internship for 2008

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2008! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU AND HOPE YEAR 2008 WILL BE GREAT FOR YOU!!!



my donut-addict never STOPS!


♥ Sunday, December 30, 2007♥

I can't bear it anymore...I don't feel happy living here, because I feel that I don't belong here. My sis don't talk to me bcoz of my bad english (her reason). I am more happy spending time with my friends, eventhough I have only a few friends.

Yesterday morning, my sis locked her bedroom door and refused to let me in to get clothings. I then asked my dad to help me, he didn't, and he complained to me that I made too much noise (knocking the door). He help others but not me.

I like two or three of my relatives, bcoz they have positive parenting and makes me feel good.

Lets say, I said I have no friends. Both of them will made me feel better by using positive words, while others will tell me that because I am rude, sensitive and always sulky face so I don't have friends.

My sis is very rude and a dirty person, how come she have friends huh??? It didn't make any sense at all. Well, I have friends, but only a few, but I am now struggling to learn how to socialize as it is so important to me when I go overseas to study and work.

It is not very fair. Ok, I am not going to compare, because the more I compare, the more stress I am...so I am going to take it and leave it.

Crazy ah! I had tried to talk and talk more with my family, well, I usually talk about school stuffs and friends, but still, it didn't work! And when my friend call me, it is always the same friend, then my fucking auntie and my cousin Nancy would say to me I am always with friends. Got meh?

(To esp my auntie and Nancy: Excuse me! When I talk, did u guys listen to me? No, all u do is juz nagging and blaming me, u think I still have mood to talk to u guys? You guys juz fucking wanna hurt my feelings purposely! GTH lah! You are juz jealous bcoz I have everything; good education+working experience, maid, friends etc. And when I wanna do something independently, did u guys let me do it? No, you guys are the ones who refused to let me do it and yet blamed me for always depend on others! And keep on comparing me to others who u think are more mature and independant than me!)

I am thinking of wanna be on my own. I am going to apply for voluntary work and will work hard on it, maybe I will have chance to work there if the school would employ me. Then I can earn my own money, study in Australia/New Zealand to get my degree and teaching qualifications. And can live and work in the country. No need to stay in Brunei! What for? Nothing to do bah! Juz sleeping the whole day~ boring eh! I want to live elsewhere. I have a cousin, she live in Shanghai for almost 7 yrs! I want to be like her...


my donut-addict never STOPS!


♥ Monday, December 24, 2007♥

Why always raining ah? Don't have mood to go out ah if like that...haiz~ And Rainy days would makes me tired because I am sooooo cold here...One day can don't rain or not???

Haiz~ 2 more weeks left then my class and practicum starts. Yay! Can't wait. But I haven't finish my assignments lah...so cold ah! How to do leh? I don't know whats wrong with me...is it bcoz my brain can't work anymore???

2 days ago I was reading an article from newspaper about stress, I showed some signs for stress. But what am I stress about??? Yeah, probably...bcoz some of my friends and especially my aunt and my cousins really get on my nerves. I'll go crazy ah if everyday I feel stress...haiz~

If you ask me to remember your email/telephone number, I can remember lah...but I can't remember the things that which required me to read through...eg assignments, notes. Even story books and documentaries/movies that I watched, I can't remember most of it! I wonder how am I going to survive in Uni...got exams one oh...but the course I am learning here has no exams, thats a relieve.

I didn't go out much with my friends this mth because I don't classes going on in this mth, which means that I didn't take money from my parents. No money means that I can't sent letters, shop and buy something right? When I go out with friends, I surely will buy something and go eat out.

Hope everything goes fine during these 2 weeks. Can't wait to see my classmates after this long, boring holidays ^_^

I know I am supposed to do my website, but I am lazy to do it...maybe I will do it when I am free and not in a tired mood...hmm perhaps in these 2 weeks time I will do it, if not, then I'll do it b4 chinese new year lo...


my donut-addict never STOPS!


♥ Friday, December 14, 2007♥

I like holidays, but not that long! Its so boring...

I don't have mood to read my notes, do assignments and reading story books either...

All I do is going to facebook, waiting for letters and phone calls to come to me...

Well, I want to go out, but I am bankrupt! This Tues I juz went out with my friend Shew min, feel like going out again next week oh...but I am outta money!!! Have to wait till next next week bcoz I don't want to always get money from my parents. Later I am not allowed to go out then I will be like a prisoner at home...only go to school then go straight back home.

I sleep frequently during holidays, and during holidays I am mostly not that active. I wanna do my work, but my mind is wandering around...ah~ what a pain! And I have headaches ah...probably always laying down on bed lo...didn't do anything...thats y no energy...and get headaches frequently...

Ah!!! How come long holidays are so slow to go? But when its not holiday or short holiday, time flies?

Boring......Hope Jan comes soon and then can see my classmates and friends again at school haha!


my donut-addict never STOPS!